I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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