Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
