you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
