you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
