White coat. Heels.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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