I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
