No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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