And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
