my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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