And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
