i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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