And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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