I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
