All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
