i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
