At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
