my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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