Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
