i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
