They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
