Dual....:-)
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
