tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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