Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
