Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
