just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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