This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
