I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
