I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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