I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
