I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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