yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
