Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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