The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
