It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
