just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
