there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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