She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
