I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
