i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They have beer where we have blood.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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