in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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