Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
