Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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