He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
