if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
