you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
