i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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