Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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