i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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