we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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