Pappa wants mamma naked
id be glad to
I can tuck mytits in my pants
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
vagina is talking i cant
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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