it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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