AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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