and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
