the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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